Rainy Days

I like the weather today; the shower of rain and the cool breeze. Days like these make most people romanticize. Makes you want to be with your bf or gf alone; hugging each other on the couch or on your bed while watching a very romantic movie, or listening to some sweet love songs while talking about just anything. Cinematic? Oh yes, but true.

However, some people just want to be alone in days like these, like me. Not that I’m loner or unromantic, but there’s something about the rain that makes me want to be by myself. I just want to be alone in bed, listening to the lullaby of the falling rain. Or watch any movie in the living room alone and feed myself with lots of chips. Then listen to my collection of some oldies-but-goodies love songs. Most of all, I love it after it rains. Everything seems so serene, fresh and peaceful. The sound of crickets is just music to my ears. The unruffled and cold breeze just doesn’t fail to make me smile. The earth is cleansed once again.

**** To Gaya, Mother of the Earth

ST. CROMNZ PDF

Just recently, my cell phone got corrupted and I lost all my contacts. I could very well remember it happened the dawn of Wednesday. I was installing a game on my cell phone, when suddenly it popped up; “File Corrupted. Some entries lost.” I got tensed and agitated. I was worried I lost some of my contact numbers. I opened my phonebook and to my surprise, it was completely blank.

That day, I started emailing my friends asking for their contact numbers. I even announced it in Friendster to keep everyone posted of what happened. A few of them texted me with their names on it, while others emailed their contact numbers. By Sunday, I thought I had most of the numbers that got lost. However, I was still receiving some text messages from “unknown” numbers. Thanks to Globe Unlimited, it made it cheaper and easier for me to send blast text messages to everyone and asked them who they were. One of those “unknown” numbers was Ivan’s.

Ivan was a high school batchmate and a friend of mine. He is a BS HRM graduate and now teaching English as a second language to Koreans. I already have his number before, but we rarely text nor call each other. I was not even sure if he had the same number after all this time or if he has my number at all. When the thing about my cell phone happened, he texted this, “Naa nko uyab…” The number was unregistered and I didn’t have any clue from who it was. I was puzzled. I thought it was from my ex. I would have surely replied, “It’s about time…” But I had to make sure first. I texted and asked who it was, then I receive a text back and it reads, “Ivan. (smiley face).” He called me later in the evening and we got to talk over the phone.

We talked for over an hour, reminiscing our High School days and what have become of us after school. So many things have happened back then and I could still vividly remember everything; the jokes we’ve shared, the disappointments felt towards a low grade, the connivances every after school, the teachers who made us felt special and really involved, and the fights that usually lasted for just a day or hours even. Ivan mentioned that we would soon be having our High School Reunion next year. I can’t believe that it has been almost 10 years since High School. I told him I’m looking forward to it. Ivan on the other hand isn’t. He said that he is not yet successful enough to face everyone. I told him that it doesn’t really matter. Well, okay it does, but not much. For me, I’m just excited to see friends from way back. Besides, he is successful already. Having graduated college, single and earning as much as 15,000 – 20,000 a month, is in fact something to be proud of. I wasn’t sure if he was convinced.

We shifted our discussion to our circle of friends. I asked if he is still in contact with Damier, Jayson, Julius, Ray and etc. Like me, they just keep in touch through text or call, but never got a chance to go out anymore. While Ivan was saying something, I began to remember how it was before and how we used to call our group. It was a very smart effort of the whole group, particularly Misty (who used to be known as Brian), Celine (who we used to call Roland) and Damier. They got all the first letters in our family name and formed an acronym out of it – ST. CROMNZ PDF. Yes, it is unique. Back to the phone with Ivan, it was already 7:30pm. I was about to tell him that I had to go and prepare for work, when he invited me for a night out on Friday. Since Friday was my day-off, I immediately said yes. Then I suggested why not make it a reunion with the ST CROMNZ PDF. Ivan agreed with excitement. He then started to contact the others and got a favorable response. By the next day, it was already official – June 16, 2006, 8pm Friday at Mango Square.

As usual, I was the first one to arrived. Jayson, who was very masculine in black shirt, met up with me in Jollibee. Ivan, who looked very sophisticated in folded and hung polo, was already on the table with Chris, who is now, in a certain angle Eric Santos look-a-like. Ray, who looked so healthy with silver jewelries, came alone. Cerwin, who’s now bald was wearing a white sando and maong short, came with the sexy and gorgeous Celine, who was wearing a really micro-mini skirt. While Fresh looking and beautiful with curly-tip long hair Misty, came in late. We were almost complete, except for Ryan, Damier and Julius, who have their own valid reasons for not coming. For the first time, after almost 10 years, we were all gathered like one big happy family in the heart of Mango Square. The first few hours were spent in chatting; sharing experiences, asking of common friends, asking how’s who and where’s who now, and a lot more. Then we started drinking beer, dancing, singing, and boys watching. We even saw some high school classmates who were also doing there usual night out. We partied the whole night until 4am the next day. It was my first time there in Mango Square and I had so much fun, we all did. We almost forgot that Misty still had to go to work; Chris had a slight fever, even if he was feeling a little numb because of the beer; and I had to take my sister to a seminar as early as 6am.

I drove my way home with a light feeling and a bit tipsy. I got to bed and decided to take a short nap, but I couldn’t. I was still feeling high. I caught myself staring at the ceiling, thinking how nice it is to know that even if I don’t get to see them, I know that we are still good friends. I know that I can still count on them. It’s just like this text message that I received from a friend in Chicago, and I quote,


“ Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.“


****To Good Fiends and Good Time.

That Gay Thing

Independence day!

I went to Ayala the other day hoping to meet Keith for a lunch date; however, after almost an hour of waiting, he didn’t show up. So I decided to go to Tacos and ordered one whole quesadillas. I was a bit hungry and this is where we usually eat if were kinda short in cash. I was that time.

I was enjoying my slices of hot, spicy, and cheesy quesadillas while checking on the people around. I saw Angge, a friend of a friend of mine who has 6th sense; my cousin who was in rush to buy blank CDs; and some children playing with their plastic swords. As I was about to eat my fourth slice, there he was: straight looking, neat, tall, in a yellow Lacoste polo shirt, Dickies jeans and with a girl. The latter was surprising. Mind you, I was not surprised to see that the girl was not so good-looking, but I was more surprised to see that he was locked-arms with the girl. The girl’s arms were wrapped around his left arm, like a python tightly gripping on its prey. They looked so sweet to each other and I couldn’t help but wonder. Was she her girlfriend? Then suddenly, like a movie, I had a flash back.

John, not really the guy’s real name, was a schoolmate way back in high school. He was an intelligent student, good-looking, flamboyant, and effeminate. Yes, he is gay. He wore short shorts in PE class, always liked to be in a female character in every short plays held either in the class room or gym, brings a foldable glittering fan during flag ceremony, and likes smooching around with guys. There was even one time when he was wearing green contact lenses, but he had to leave it at home the next day, because the teacher called his attention for doing so. It was a boys’ school.

Back to reality, I was caught up staring at them as they passed by. I took a small bite on my fourth slice of quesadillas and started asking myself: is it possible for someone as gay as John to change into a straight guy? I thought I needed my friends help. So I emailed some of my open-minded friends right away and was able to get different views.

Mild’s answer was, “YES, if he joins the oasis of love”. I thought it was kinda funny, so I emailed back and asked if she was serious. You see, Mild is the sexy, religious and joker type. You just can’t be sure if she is joking or not. True enough, she’s heard some testimonies about it from some people in the “congregation.” Eloise, my out going and sophisticated friend, knew of someone who was gay in high school but who’s now happily married, with a beautiful daughter. Maricar, a very good friend of mine who wants some of my sperms when we turn 40, just don’t think it’s possible. She added that, at a moment he may look and live like a straight guy but the desires and the feelings of a gay person will still haunt him. Philmore was positively sure it could happen, as soon as the person discovers that cherries are tastier than bananas. A friend of mine from a call center and proud to be gay, Jerwin, related this to a bi-sexual preference, but somehow he just couldn’t understand why there is such a thing as a bi-sexual person. He said that, you may like two things but there’s always this tendency to like the other one more. So he concluded that there’s really no such thing as a bi-sexual and an image of a really gay individual turning into a straight guy, is rather a little hard to believe. Professor Richard, and sexy Mahal both shared that it is a matter of choice. If the person is determined to change, then he can be whatever he wants. Today, I asked Keith the same question and he said, “Being gay is an absolute entity.” Half of your body just couldn’t be gay while the other half is straight. If you are gay, then you are gay, he concluded.

As I drive my way back to the office, I keep getting the picture in my mind of John smiling and laughing with a girl. I somehow realize that he was actually happy, as his face obviously suggests. And it came to me; I think that’s the most important thing. After all, happiness is what we all seek in life and we are all entitled to it. So if John was either reborn into a straight guy or was just acting like one, as long as he is happy, that’s what matters. I started working with a smile, knowing how happy and loved I am in just being me.


*** To those people who are trying to be true.

Gemini - May 26, 1980

Freyr and Freyja as the Twins

Freya is considered to be the goddess of Love and Beauty, but is also a warrior goddess and one of great wisdom and magick. She and her twin brother Freyr are of a different "race" of gods known as the Vanir. Many of the tribes venerated her higher than the Aesir, calling her "the Frowe" or "The Lady." She is known as Queen of the Valkyries, choosers of those slain in battle to bear them to Valhalla (the Norse heaven). She, therefore, is a psychopomp like Odhinn and it is said that she gets the "first pick" of the battle slain. She wears the sacred necklace Brisingamen, which she paid for by spending the night with the dwarves who wrought it from the bowels of the earth. The cat is her sacred symbol. There seems to be some confusion between herself and Fricka, Odin's wife, as they share similar functions; but Fricka seems to be strictly of the Aesir, while Freya is of the Vanic race. The day Friday (Frejyasdaeg) was named for her (some claim it was for Fricka).

Freyr (Fro Ingwe) is Freya's twin brother. He is the horned God of fertility, and has some similarities to the Celtic Cernunnos or Herne, although he is NOT the same being. He is known as King of the Alfs (elves). Both the Swedish and the English are said to be descendents of his. The Boar is his sacred symbol, which is both associated with war and with fertility. His golden boar, "Gullenbursti", is supposed to represent the daybreak. He is also considered to be the God of Success, and is wedded to Gerda, the Jotun, for whom he had to yield up his mighty sword. At Ragnarok, he is said to fight with the horn of an elk (much more suited to his nature rather than a sword.)


Chatty Gemini is my star sign, which tells us that the Sun awakened the dual sign of the Twins in the Zodiac on my birthday. The Sun in astrology stands for our inner nature. The third sign of the zodiac, Gemini, a masculine sign, is ruled by the quick and lively planet Mercury, the messenger of the gods. A mutable (fluid and changeable) sign, Gemini governs communications, intellectual matters, and gossip! It is an air sign, which means Gemini people are ingenious, quick-witted communicators, although you are often restless, easily bored and can become frustrated by things moving too slowly.

The Sun, ruler of our inner nature, is bright in Gemini. It favours writing, other forms of communication, and travel (although beware of running around in circles just for the sake of it, or because others have imposed on your good nature). Geminians are great talkers and are usually very much in demand socially, because you are so entertaining. You'd make a great talk-show host. Gemini is the life of the party.

A Dual Sign

Being a dual sign has (of course) both an up and a down-side. You are vitally interested in what's new and fashionable, though you have a healthy skepticism which allows you to see both sides of the image. You are a party animal, but like to sit back and analyse, or send up the whole procedure.

You multiply the effects of other people's energy, but can become deflated if you are out of the limelight for any length of time. Your sharp wit and excellent powers of observation make you a good raconteur, although you have a tendency to exaggerate which can cause trouble with your relationships.

Ironic Wit

You really have little faith in yourself, which you mask with ironic wit or sarcasm, but in truth you can use your flexible mind to better yourself in a surprising number of ways. You spend more time talking than eating, so you are able to stay fairly slim. Your flexible bod enjoys agile sports: gymnastics, bicycling, swimming, and so on. Favorites are tennis, racquetball and similar games involving a partner. Gemini talents include design, interior decoration, arts and crafts, magic and illusion, and music.

As the day-throne of Mercury, your strengths are in communication, both the spoken and the written word, media, gossip and trivia of every conceivable variety. A mutable (changeable) sign, you are chameleon-like in your ability to blend in with your environment, yet you stand out like a beacon when you become the life of the party, with your witty remarks and seemingly limitless knowledge about all and sundry.

Multi-faceted Personality

You love zooming around, running right left and centre. As a source of information you are unparalleled and you love to keep in touch with your friends, neighbours and indeed anyone who is on your wavelength. The mobile phone, if not invented by a Gemini, was definitely invented for you – and is certainly your most treasured accessory!

Gemini rules the hands and arms, lungs, thymus gland and upper ribs; people with Gemini active in their charts are subject to injury or infection in these areas and should resist the temptation to smoke. Geminians are also subject to mental distraction and hovering between alternatives, or attempting to pursue mutually conflicting goals.

Gemini colours are yellow and light blue, and mixed colours. Your birthstone is the agate, attractively streaked with colours like the multi-faceted Geminian personality. Gemini flowers include the lilac, azalea, and lily-of-the-valley.

The Element associated with Gemini is Air. Air Signs are the thinking person's Signs, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this Sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent which allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two.