That Gay Thing

Independence day!

I went to Ayala the other day hoping to meet Keith for a lunch date; however, after almost an hour of waiting, he didn’t show up. So I decided to go to Tacos and ordered one whole quesadillas. I was a bit hungry and this is where we usually eat if were kinda short in cash. I was that time.

I was enjoying my slices of hot, spicy, and cheesy quesadillas while checking on the people around. I saw Angge, a friend of a friend of mine who has 6th sense; my cousin who was in rush to buy blank CDs; and some children playing with their plastic swords. As I was about to eat my fourth slice, there he was: straight looking, neat, tall, in a yellow Lacoste polo shirt, Dickies jeans and with a girl. The latter was surprising. Mind you, I was not surprised to see that the girl was not so good-looking, but I was more surprised to see that he was locked-arms with the girl. The girl’s arms were wrapped around his left arm, like a python tightly gripping on its prey. They looked so sweet to each other and I couldn’t help but wonder. Was she her girlfriend? Then suddenly, like a movie, I had a flash back.

John, not really the guy’s real name, was a schoolmate way back in high school. He was an intelligent student, good-looking, flamboyant, and effeminate. Yes, he is gay. He wore short shorts in PE class, always liked to be in a female character in every short plays held either in the class room or gym, brings a foldable glittering fan during flag ceremony, and likes smooching around with guys. There was even one time when he was wearing green contact lenses, but he had to leave it at home the next day, because the teacher called his attention for doing so. It was a boys’ school.

Back to reality, I was caught up staring at them as they passed by. I took a small bite on my fourth slice of quesadillas and started asking myself: is it possible for someone as gay as John to change into a straight guy? I thought I needed my friends help. So I emailed some of my open-minded friends right away and was able to get different views.

Mild’s answer was, “YES, if he joins the oasis of love”. I thought it was kinda funny, so I emailed back and asked if she was serious. You see, Mild is the sexy, religious and joker type. You just can’t be sure if she is joking or not. True enough, she’s heard some testimonies about it from some people in the “congregation.” Eloise, my out going and sophisticated friend, knew of someone who was gay in high school but who’s now happily married, with a beautiful daughter. Maricar, a very good friend of mine who wants some of my sperms when we turn 40, just don’t think it’s possible. She added that, at a moment he may look and live like a straight guy but the desires and the feelings of a gay person will still haunt him. Philmore was positively sure it could happen, as soon as the person discovers that cherries are tastier than bananas. A friend of mine from a call center and proud to be gay, Jerwin, related this to a bi-sexual preference, but somehow he just couldn’t understand why there is such a thing as a bi-sexual person. He said that, you may like two things but there’s always this tendency to like the other one more. So he concluded that there’s really no such thing as a bi-sexual and an image of a really gay individual turning into a straight guy, is rather a little hard to believe. Professor Richard, and sexy Mahal both shared that it is a matter of choice. If the person is determined to change, then he can be whatever he wants. Today, I asked Keith the same question and he said, “Being gay is an absolute entity.” Half of your body just couldn’t be gay while the other half is straight. If you are gay, then you are gay, he concluded.

As I drive my way back to the office, I keep getting the picture in my mind of John smiling and laughing with a girl. I somehow realize that he was actually happy, as his face obviously suggests. And it came to me; I think that’s the most important thing. After all, happiness is what we all seek in life and we are all entitled to it. So if John was either reborn into a straight guy or was just acting like one, as long as he is happy, that’s what matters. I started working with a smile, knowing how happy and loved I am in just being me.


*** To those people who are trying to be true.