That Long Distance Relationship Thing

“It won’t work!” That has always been my stand every time someone brings up the topic about long distance relationship and asks my opinion. Talks of romantic moments but without physical interaction; no hugging, no kissing, no holding hands, and no sex, is a total bs. Who in their right sense of mind can stand such an arrangement? I mean, I could get sick of loneliness if I can’t even take a glimpse of my special someone in a week. How much more if that would happen in a month or in years? I could be dead by then! All right, I exaggerated a little. I know we already have webcams, mms and 3G technologies to see someone from far away. Still, I just don’t believe that such a romantic relationship can survive. The saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is such a big cliché. An overused phrase that everyone likes to use to cover up their dying relationship and their overflowing longing to be their partners. Duh! I think it’s more likely “absence makes the heart forget” or “out of sight, out of mind.”

Take for example my college friend, Andrea (not her real name). She is sexy, beautiful, and a successful Computer Engineer; however, her love life may not speak the same. Andrea had a college boyfriend and they have been together for along time. A few months after graduation, Andrea had to go to another country for work, leaving her boyfriend behind with hopes that she’d return after 2 years. Yes, they’ve decided to join the few others in the implausible world of long distance relationships. Everything went well at first. But I guess it’s really man’s nature to be physically stimulated. After a few months of exchanging “I love yous” through emails and calls, Andrea found out that her boyfriend was seeing another girl. To make the long story short, they broke-up. Andrea was a little devastated, but take note of the word “a little” because just a month after the break-up she found James. Andrea and James went back to the Philippines; they got married and Andrea got pregnant. James had to go out of the country again to continue his contract in the company where he works. Like a déjà vu and without any choice, Andrea found herself in another long distance relationship. Nine months later Andrea gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, whom of course became one of my good-looking godchildren. Years and months have passed and somehow things were going smoothly between the two. Until just recently, I received a text message from Andrea with the following words; “Nit, I’m sad… I found out that James had a girlfriend there and the girl had the nerve to even call me…” I told her to fight for her rights and her love for James, which of course she did and gave James another chance. But that’s another story to tell.

I think that is proof enough that long distance relationships don’t work. Ok, you may say that it is an isolated case. So I did a little survey and I tried asking about 20 people for their opinion on the matter. However, only 7 replied with their best opinion and the rest, either they don’t care or they have a boring lovelife. Surprisingly, out of the 7 only 3 people share the same opinion as I have. According to my oozingly sexy friend Eloise, it won’t work. She pointed out that, the most common reason you hear from the brokenhearted or the heartbreaker why the relationship didn’t work is that they grew apart (and they are just a mere 2 miles or less away). How much more if you put the geographical quotient in the picture, it would be such a disaster. On the other hand, the versatile Bhobby said that, it may indeed be very difficult but when two people are mature enough, then it can work. But Yo, a promiscuous friend of mine, was very firm in saying it won’t work. He said that, if your partner is far away from you, there are tendencies that he/she might be tempted. It is a big world out and it is inevitable that someone almost the same or much more might come along, he added. Jokingly he said, how about if your partner will be assigned in Lebanon, would you be happy with your long distance relationship knowing there’s a raging war going on there? I just laughed. “Some kinda tough ha, “ was Jerwin’s first reaction. Jerwin said that, he still believes that it can work, even if it didn't work out for him. Yes, he finds it ironic, but it may be so because he confesses to still feel that his one of those bunch of "hopeless delusionals" who believe that love...true and genuine love, in its all-encompassing power, does not know any boundaries, geographic or otherwise. Pretty mom Noreen and voluptuous Lyn both shared that, it depends on the couple involved. If they both want it to work out there are always ways to keep it alive. Anything will work if both want it to, she concluded. Although Lyn said it could be very tiring, based on her on going experience.

Hmmm…I’m almost convinced it will work. Wait a minute. If I take into consideration my dad working for 5 years already in Saudi, and knowing that my mom and dad are still happily in love with each other, I think it can work. There may still be hope for those lovers in such relationship. But how to pull it off and what the true factors or key elements to a successful long distance relationship? That I don’t know for sure. I guess it would be safe to say that with a little fate, love and trust, it can work out.


*****To the hopeless romantic