That Sex Thing

It was 11pm and I just got home from a date when the phone rang. Marlon was on the line. He mentioned something about Kim and sounded a bit pissed off. Marlon and Kim (not their real names) are one of those PLU couples that I admire. He asked me if we could talk for a while. Something in his voice tells me that it will be a long talk, but what the heck, I wasn’t sleepy yet. Marlon is a good friend of mine; moreno, a gym buff and a smart guy. He met Kim at work on their lunchtime and they started going out. From then on, they have been going steady for almost a year now. Like any other relationships, they’ve been through rough roads; constant quarrels, jealousy, and misunderstandings almost leading to their break-up. But they’ve somehow managed to make it through all those.

I sat down on the couch and Marlon said, “What a really frustrating day.” That was his first sentence. “I just want to talk to someone or I’m going mad.” I asked what happened and he started talking. “Today, I called Kim and invited him for a dinner date and a movie. We’ve talked for over an hour on the phone and we’ve both decided to check-in a motel and make love after watching a movie. Funny because I had to practically beg for it, but take note, I didn’t force him to. It has just been awhile since we’ve done it, and I miss him so much. I think he also sounded excited about our plan and was even teasing me how he’s already horny.” I continued to attentively listen to Marlon’s story for almost 30 minutes. Once in a while I give a confirmative tone to let him know that I was still there. Then the climax…

“After we’ve bought all the paraphernalia needed (condoms and lubricant) and after watching a really horrifying film, I found myself seating next to a sleepy Kim inside my car. I couldn’t believe my eyes and I didn’t know what to exactly feel. He lied down and said that, he was tired and sleepy. How can he be tired and sleepy after having slept almost the whole day and after watching “See no Evil,” a suspense/ horror film? Tell me Mon. My god! To think I was so excited to kiss him and much more feel his body. But after a few minutes, I didn’t see that coming to a realization anymore. I was upset and insulted, maybe because I was so emotionally and physically prepared. I mean if he didn’t want to do it, why not just say so. Rather than get me going and lead me to believe something’s going to happen but in the end nothing at all. You know what? He has done it so many times. He has this unique way of indirectly turning down my request or any plans we make, to the last minute. Right then and there, I decided we’d go home. I mean it’s just the right thing to do, right? I can be more understanding Mon, but this time I just don’t get it. He added that he just needed a 10 minutes nap, then we can make love. He said that it’s like work he needed a break. A break from what? What the hell was he talking about? Besides, who in his right mind after seeing his partner acting sleepy and tired, would still want to have sex? Good thing I didn’t buy the tube lubricant or it would’ve caused me more than 200 pesos for nothing.”

It came to me that Marlon was already finished with his story. He asked what I thought about it, but I was speechless for a few moments. I didn't know what to say because I had the same experience before. It was as if I was listening to myself complaining. Then I finally said that I agree with him. I told him that he should tell Kim how he felt about what happened and talk about it. We ended our conversation with him saying. “Oh well! Maybe I’ll just jack-off with this lubricant we bought. Sayang nman.” We both laugh and said our good nights. I went to bed still wondering about something. What Marlon said caught my attention; when he said that he practically beg for them to make love. How important is sex in a romantic relationship?

I’m talking about Sex, not as a gender, but as an activity associated with sexual intercourse. It is that thing that involves vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. It is an act, for sexual procreation and also for sexual enjoyment, done during which the erect penis is inserted into the vagina, anus or mouth, where orgasm and ejaculation occur. Some would actually prefer using the phrase “make love.” This is the term that most couples use to differentiate plain sex and the sex done in a relationship. Don’t be confused. It is still sex but with added complications. The term coitus may also be used synonymously.

I woke up the next day but I still can’t forget about the things I’ve heard last night. I went to Ayala and had my weekly facial care; I went shopping and I went to the gym, but I still can’t get the question off my mind. I realize I needed to confide with my friends for some answers. It was then when Rainne and Megan, both good friends of mine, invited me for a lunch-out. Rainne is the glamorous Quality Assurance Engineer, who has been going steady with his boyfriend for 5 years now. Megan is the sexy and intelligent Customer Service Representative, who is currently in a long-distance relationship for 2 months. We hopped in my car and decided to eat at Jollibee. I was driving when I told them about Marlon’s experience and asked them; is sex important in a romantic relationship? How important is it?

After hearing the story, they both laughed at it. Megan’s first reaction was somewhat strong, as she can also relate about it in a different way. It has something to do with falsely leading on someone to believe something, which is entirely not true. I believe that it wasn’t also right for Kim to lead Marlon to believing that he was excited to make love to him that night and in the end turned him down. Megan said that it was really frustrating. She added that, sex is really part of any romantic relationship. She calls it part of being intimate with each other. However, she claims that if the person is firm when it comes to his values, say waiting for marriage before doing it, then we should respect the person’s decision and values. Rainne nodded to show affirmation to what Megan said. She said that, it is that special thing you do in a romantic relationship, a thin line that separates lovers from being just friends. Your partner shouldn’t beg for it, but it should be willingly given in a joint decision, she further said. Lastly, I personally think that it jazzes up a relationship.

I hurriedly parked my car because we were already hungry. Before we got out of the car, we’ve already arrived to the conclusion that sex, “making love,” “cuddling” or whatever you call it, is really an essential component in every romantic relationship. Instead of eating in Jollibee, we ended up eating in Mc Donalds, coz after all, my car was parked in their parking area. =)


***** To a happier relationship and a wonderful sex life.